


Hot Butter (Omovember 2020)

by tinyghostie



Series: Omovember 2020 (Diego, Five and Klaus) [14]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Day Fourteen: Experiencing Unexpected Diuretic Effects, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Gen, Mentions of incontinence, Omorashi, Omovember
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27562531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyghostie/pseuds/tinyghostie
Summary: Certain drugs can affect bladder capacity. Klaus is painfully aware of this.
Series: Omovember 2020 (Diego, Five and Klaus) [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999363
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Hot Butter (Omovember 2020)

Klaus’ head was full of a warm, thick feeling, like hot butter. Exactly like hot butter in Klaus’ case, actually. It’d kill him eventually, but it was a delicious feeling at the time. He wondered how much butter he’d have to eat before he died. Probably less than other people: he wasn’t even supposed to have dairy.

On reflection, butter was probably the least detrimental thing he was putting into his body. He yawned and pushed his face further into his pillow, cutting off his oxygen. It felt good for a while, but he had to come up for air soon after. That was the problem. Nothing was permanent. For every high, there came a low.

He heard a soft ‘thwack’ sound, probably Diego throwing knives at innocent furniture in his room next door. Everything was muffled and sleepy. It was only nine in the morning, and already Klaus felt like sleeping. He remembered falling asleep at a club once.

_‘What’s the point of getting high if you’re just gonna sleep through it?’_

The point was that if Klaus didn’t get high, he _couldn’t_ sleep. Visions of the undead plagued his dreams, and his nightmares differed from everyone else’s in only one sense: he knew that they’d still be there when he woke up.

He groaned and rolled onto his back, tracing lazy circles on his belly with his fingers. He never understood skin. How did it know to stay on? How did it know when it was supposed to become wrinkly? Why was it all one colour?

Klaus thought that humans would be much more fun if they were rainbow coloured.

A dull throb in his lower stomach made him aware that he needed to do something, but he wasn’t sure what. It was like when Allison’s mobile phone pinged. It sometimes made a ‘ping’ sound, to let her know that she needed to do something. Klaus could never afford a mobile phone or keep one safe. He didn’t ping when he needed to do something either. He just hurt.

Currently, Klaus’ face was scrunched up in confusion, as he tried to figure out whether he needed to pee, or shit, or puke. He would need to go to the bathroom to do one of those things, he concluded, and stood up, stumbling to the door. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this high.

As soon as he reached the hallway, it became apparent what he had needed to do.

The pain quickly disappeared, and he saw a large wet streak appear on his pants. He let out a frustrated whine and grabbed his crotch, trying to stop it, but he only succeeded in getting his hands wet.

“Klaus? Oh… Klaus…” He heard a sigh from behind him.

“Hi, Diego.” Klaus mumbled, dragging his foot through the puddle, as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

“Hey, don’t be upset… it’s just an accident.” Diego told him. “It doesn’t matter if you have a little accident just once, right?”

“I-it’s not just this o-on-ce, though!” Klaus sobbed, burying his head in his brother’s chest. “I-it happens every time!”

Diego had heard about how certain substances could weaken or even shrink the user’s bladder. He’d had to attend thousands of drug abuse related training classes when he was in the police academy. With the amount of shit Klaus was putting into his body, it was unsurprising that he was beginning to suffer from a few long-term effects.

However, Klaus had never really seemed to have any short-term side effects, aside from the obvious vomiting and withdrawal. It was a sharp reality check for Diego, realising that no matter how immortal he claimed to be, Klaus was only human. He wasn’t even some superhuman like their father always insisted they were. They were all human after all. Except Luther, maybe.

“How often does it happen?” Diego asked as he sat Klaus down on his bed (putting a towel down first, of course).

“A-a lot. I-is it because of the drugs?” Klaus hung his head in shame. “I don’t wanna be incompetent.”

Diego fought back a laugh. “You mean incontinent.”

“Yeah, that, whatever. I’m already incompetent.”


End file.
